Archives for the month of: March, 2008

rain and light

I thought I knew what it was to love
to die gracefully, every moment making way for the next
to forget the longing and the madness that it clings to
to not crouch down into the deep of this darkness
and pray for someone to take all of it away
to shed me of the chains of my own design

though I continue, as though without effort
to be afraid
to isolate and ostrasize
to know that there is something beyond
and to fall at its feet, seeking shelter inside my humbling defeat

I have yet learned how to call for you
how to sleep beyond your affection
how to let you watch these tears fall
and not pretend it’s raining

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darkness and blur

if you really must know
it aches in a way I’ve yet to wrap a proper word around
strangling me in the darkest hour
lifting me up just high enough for the excruciating stab
of pain as I land

the tears are irrelevant
mainly for show — the expected outcome of
my public humiliation with my mistress heart;
the tendril of some unnamed sadness
i long to cauterize at the root

this shame mocks me as I sleep
in the shower, when I walk down streets
with no names and a mass of empty faces that give nothing away
as if this is only remnants of a hopeless dream
exhausted by the light

shadow

I have nothing to give you
and doubtless, I am dying

To myself and the world
just as you are to me

In shame I cannot hide these fears

This is not a love poem