Archives for the month of: May, 2008

spring rain

whether it be
your morning showers that last all afternoon
or the drops of sunlight
that trickle down into the depths of rich, ebony earth

Spring; you delight me!
all blossoms & dew

now I walk amongst your petals

and remember how gentleness and patience
rewards; renews; rebirths

And such is the heart I seek

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clinging to beauty

Love broke me apart
from the inside
in ways that can never
be mended
(the scars)

Love split me open
and swirled my midtones
and I cannot go back
to the colour I once was
(the sudden lack of gray)

Love snapped me in two
and tied a piece of worn string around me
so now I know what
being together really means
(the finding myself)

do you think i loved you well?
i am certain i could have done better
for example, i could have loved you in a way that didn’t cause you to doubt yourself
it would have also helped if the mad velocity with which i wrapped my heart around yours
left even a hint of breathing room
i could have let you lead the way more often and not get all caught up in loving for the sake of loving
and then there is the matter of your heart–did i not make it feel as thought it had space for
all that was important to it, for all that it ever wanted to achieve
i could have toned down my wild spirit in the company of family so that the sheer contrast of dependence wasn’t so blatantly obvious to the entire brood
and yes, i could have been kinder; i could have stopped the world turning so that you had time to catch up to me; i could have hung the moon just a bit closer so the need for you to turn on the lights at night wouldn’t be so cumbersome
i loved you well, not as well as i could have, but as well as i knew
and it is only now, after days and weeks of the endless questions do i see what it is that i could have done to love you better
i could have insisted you loved yourself, deeply, in the pockets of madness within this human coat
i could have reminded you of what you left behind, and why
i could have told you i am but a mirror for you, a message scrawled in your handwriting, a heartbeat, a belief in a self beyond yourself, a creation of the moment, an explanation, a whisper that tells you of what you know, but have forgotten–that all i am is the love you can create, and in creating, receive

i am looking

I have given in to love
no more will you find me holding
behind reams of razor wire any part of who I might be
if there’s a chance to embrace the sameness of you and I

I am looking beyond this flesh
into the depths of the whirling vortex that
is where your soul meets mine and I am holding still
so you can see me, so we can fill this time with all that matters

brick wall II

I am talking to brick walls
and closed doors
and empty hallways

and don’t I wish I was
for I wouldn’t expect them to want to know me
and it wouldn’t be so obvious they don’t


rebirth

how did you know
that beneath these petals
and this chain mail I had it in me

that the enormity of my heart would
far surpass the tiny hurt
of my ego and its temper that
threatened to come undone before you

when was the last time I even showed you my love

and you said, nothing is hidden from those
who see the world with their heart

as I do

as you do