watching over

You will call me and you will be crying.
Your heart having lurched into the deep well of life beyond bodies and minds.

You will have remembered when I told you, “a little of me goes a long way, darling.” When you tell me this, I will remember I said it and then retracted it immediately because in that moment your insecurity showed up and in my longing I wanted you to stay for a while.

And maybe you will have thought about what I meant, perhaps considered the vastness from which those words were spawn that cold December morning as we laid in bed flushed with our new love and brave (yet scared) by the endless horizon of its possibility.

Concisely: you were not ready for what you thought you wanted.
In terms of love, one must be ready for the flashpoint. You knew yourself, indeed. One more level removed, you needed to know knowing yourself.

So here we are–at tears, a phone, and your tremulous voice asking for forgiveness…of which, my beloved, you’ve had all along and never had to request. I did the asking for you.

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