a light in the dark

Let me just tell you this…

I am constantly trying to catch up to myself. My mind, my heart, my spirit–they race through the days and I can barely manage to fill my lungs up with one extra breath before they are off ahead of me again.

I say I want to know you deeply, that I am insatiable in my curiosity, that I want to leave your mystery alone, as I wish you’d leave mine. Then I turn around and feel your dark places are deceptive, feel an apathy toward your story and wish you would not talk about yourself so much, but rather ask about me.

I want to give you the wide-open space of a country meadow in spring greens and yet crush you with an all-consuming love the colour of pomegranate. I want you to own your experiences, yet stand naked before me and allow me to heal you from head to toe with the wisdom I’ve gained from mine.

I rescind all previous open offers of foreverlove. I do not know you and you do not know me. I believe in Love. I am frail beneath the weight of my want for love at first sight, though it has failed me over and over again.

I wish you could see me beyond all that I feel now and know that this is just a jangled, addled mess of earthen experiment and that all I really am is a pure light flickering in the dark to show you your way.

Sometimes I think we could walk that road together…all the way home.