Archives for the month of: January, 2009

buried beneath

no longer do I wait for you to come home at night
to be waiting for me

we have scattered into the dark; sparks
once blazing together on a hot July weekend

leaves burnt orange and crushed
underfoot before that first snowflake fell

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what lay beneath

There was a time (not so long ago) I felt
you were near enough–
at the edge of the long wait
–now a distance seems
cruel and taunting

am I really so alone in this place

were you ever really here

if not you, for what then do I yearn
so tragic

I, and these words I write,
lying dormant, frozen, unacknowledged

25 Random Things
(because Col asked me to and it’s after midnight, so you’ll get the edgy truth, sans filter)  If you’d like to, post your own in the comments.  It’s fun to give & receive!

  1. I am starting my master’s degree and after that I want to get my Ph.D., too.
  2. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about digestion and fibre and water intake…I try to make being “regular” an ordinary experience for me and it takes some effort and planning. (And is so worth it!)
  3. I have lived in my current home 15 months. I have not lived anywhere for even 12 months straight since 1995. Reaching this new threshold blows my gypsy socks right off!
  4. I wonder if my known need for solitude (especially in light of my very social job) hinders my acquisition of a man to share my life with.
  5. I don’t think I will have a child or children. I always say it’s possible when people ask, but I really don’t think it’s likely.
  6. I am constantly looking at the world at two or more levels. It sounds more exhausting than it is, but it IS a lot of processing (hence the need for solitude, perhaps?)
  7. I do not own a microwave or toaster.
  8. My eyes change colour.
  9. I fall in love easily and often (platonically and romantically) and I have confused sex with love and friendship with love several times.
  10. I conduct entire relationships in my head and heart without the direct input of the person in question. I wonder how this affects the world, if it does at all.
  11. I’m a hugger.
  12. I’m a diarist.
  13. I have tried to take the best parts of what I was given and mould them into a life full of love and inspiration.
  14. I made a promise to myself when I was very young and watched my parents struggle that I would never work at a job I hated. And I haven’t.
  15. I liked Europe more than I thought I would, much to the chagrin of the traveler in me who wants to seek out more foreign and obscure destinations.
  16. I miss dancing all night when I was younger and would spend the weekends at the bar. That’s the only thing I miss about that time in my life.
  17. I have somehow figured out how to be a whole person who lives a segregated life. I think this is very cool.
  18. I am a hypnotherapist.
  19. When I was about 7 or 8 I got curious about puberty and sex, so I read copious amounts about it from books I borrowed from the library week after week.
  20. I was independent fresh out of the womb…and I love this about me.
  21. I have mostly male friends, mostly (significantly) older friends, mostly friends that live no where near me. My dearest friends amaze me every single day with who they are in the world.
  22. I dropped out of high school because I was bored out of my mind.
  23. I eat turnip raw.
  24. About seven years ago I endeavoured to become a person who is whole, enriched, and who honours who she is and what she needs so that I may be of service to this life. I have come a long way, baby.
  25. I share a birthday with Rilke, which I find endearing since I think he saw the world very similarly to how I do.

falling off the edge of the earth

it was nothing, dear
just a simple, little sliver of light
at the edge

where you thought there wasn’t any left…

it's time